Previous Thread It hasn't locked yet; but it will and since it's been so long since I posted, I thought I'd start a new thread.
Well, my sitch has pretty much been the same since I last posted. W is still with OM; but at least she's been adhering to our agreement to keep the kids from him.
She has been seeking me out the last few weeks for phone convos like we are best friends and also asking for my advice and seeking approval for some of her decision making. All this can be confusing if I let it; but I choose to remember that her actions dictate my responses. She is making NO moves to end her affair or come back. Which is fine, because I don't want HER back.
I will honestly say that there are times in the past few weeks when I've missed my family; not her, per se. But the kids have made comments and observations that make me realize what is lost here. The W and I are still headed for the D; I just don't know the timing.
We've been hit by the massive ice storm; we've been without power and some without heat. Luckily, I have a wood-burning furnace. I've been grilling out in the snow. Lots of fun. I've also realized why men died at 45 in the past. All this wood-splitting and ice-chipping has beat me down like a dog.
the first day of no power, my D was with the W at her mom's. MIL house was cold; but W had power, TV, and heat. My D chose to come home to a dark house with no TV to be with daddy and big brother and said "No" to going to mom's with all the comforts. That really warmed my heart. I hate having no electricity; but the time spent huddled with a flashlight reading and playing together with my children in one room is priceless. It's the best part of the day when there's no power. This must be how families stayed together in years past; there were no outside distractions to get in the way of family time. I think this might be a trigger for me missing the wife; she left us in Sept when we lost power for a week after Hurricane Ike.
But I just spent the day with the W. Her g.mother passed last Tues. Today was the viewing and tomorrow is the funeral. I've been asked to be a pallbearer. It is really strange to watch her present this face like we're a happy family to strangers and then call her BF minutes later. I just hate the fakeness and I hate how she's ripped apart the family.
There are so many other things going through my mind but it would be pointless to post. They are just complaints about her and do nothing for me. The big thing I've learned of late is that sometimes when I think I've fully detached; I sometimes have a trigger that reminds me that maybe I'm not. Not just yet. I really need less interaction; not there is a lot.
Any just rambling while here at work. Mostly wanted to let everyone know that I'm still alive and pressing forward.
hey friend!! been worried about you!! I remember the ice storm here, we were on a generator for a couple weeks. your daughter made me tear up!! you are an amazing man and father. sending you WARM hugs prayers and love!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
hey tom, did i read in the alt you have power back? i hope so!!
on the other note you should be rooting for my team lol!
hugs anyway! hehe
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Hey Tom--I wondered if you were suffering through with no power. You were. I have many of the same feelings you have, so you are not alone. Thinking about what is lost with the family being torn apart can get overwhelming. You are strong, your kids are lucky to have you. Be proud of who you are.
LE
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
MC, hi, haven't checked in for awhile, sorry. But I loved your observation about spending family time with no distractions, that is so KEY. What a great way to bond. I have to remember that one!
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
