The thing about affairs is the OP meets a specific need the WAS has at the moment but rarely can address the other needs you were meeting. Right now the WAS is getting pretty much all her needs met so once you pull back she will start missing those you offered.
You have to find out what you weren't doing for her and base your 180s around being able to fill those so you become a better choice. After the honeymoon stage of the affair runs it's course, she will start having new needs the OP can't meet and may turn back to you to fill those.
Give yourself 3-6 months before she starts having second thoughts. Be nice to her and never fight but don't pursue her or talk about yourself or the R. The ball is her court and it's going to stay there pretty much the entire time. She has to come to you and wont do that until she thinks you've giving up on her, starts to miss you, or her A turns ugly.
What worked for me was not getting angry, making the changes my W didn't think I was capable of, and acting happy when we spoke. My came back after 3 months, half that living with an OM. Me being nice really screwed with her head.
The problem in my case was she came back TOO soon. She was still in the honeymoon stage and never got over the OM so relapsed back after 6 months. I should have made her wait a little longer but I was just too eager. Lesson learned.
Last edited by RobD70; 02/01/0904:30 PM.
Me:38 W:40 Bomb/EA 03/08 Recon twice 1/09 W files for D Story
