How's that for a title? Our marriage has been sex starved for 14 years since the birth of my last child. I've talked to him about this and he says he will try to make things better but now we are down to once a year (whether I need it or not) and I am out of my mind with frustration. Now i find a levitra prescription in his meds and did some research finding that he had this prescription filled 5 times last year and has used 5 doses since 1/16. Someone is getting the benefit of this and it sure ain't me. I am terrified of asking him about this. I have no money, (stay at home mom except when i work in H's office) and no family near by. i still have 2 teenagers at home and one in college. I am afraid he will cut off my college kid's money if our marriage falls apart. I want to follow him the next time I see a dose missing from his bottle and see who this is. I have my suspicions - he is prone to emotional affairs. I confronted him on that and his only reply was not to worry - they were just friends. Please help me. Jhawk
Did you read Sex Starved Marriage or Sex Starved Wife, or Divorce Remedy? They will help you. Start reading now!
I think some of the more senior members are going to be of great help to you when they log on. I don't want to mislead you as I am just beginning my journey.
Stay strong, and don't fall into the desperate traps and behaviors that will push him away further!
You've come to a very good place. I don't know what I'd do without the strong force of this board behind me.
I think you would be better off starting out in newcomers tbh. While you do have a SSM, it sounds like you have other issues to work through first and would most likely get more help over there. You have to keep bumping your thread to get it looked at though.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
How's that for a title? Our marriage has been sex starved for 14 years since the birth of my last child. I've talked to him about this and he says he will try to make things better but now we are down to once a year (whether I need it or not) and I am out of my mind with frustration. Now i find a levitra prescription in his meds and did some research finding that he had this prescription filled 5 times last year and has used 5 doses since 1/16. Someone is getting the benefit of this and it sure ain't me. I am terrified of asking him about this. I have no money, (stay at home mom except when i work in H's office) and no family near by. i still have 2 teenagers at home and one in college. I am afraid he will cut off my college kid's money if our marriage falls apart. I want to follow him the next time I see a dose missing from his bottle and see who this is. I have my suspicions - he is prone to emotional affairs. I confronted him on that and his only reply was not to worry - they were just friends. Please help me. Jhawk
I am having a day love ... but will post later.
POST THIS in infidelity NOW~~~ you will get help there. I have posted there before when I felt OW issues. You will get help there right away. Keep posting here too.
I am sorry for you hurt .. What is Levitra? or did I miss it in your post? Xoxoxo, Ali
I have read both the Sex Starved Marriage and Divorce Busting. The Sex Starved Marriage book helped me SO MUCH to realize it's not me. When this began I twisted myself inside out trying to figure out what the problem was. You see, another problem with my H is he is a very passive aggressive man. I believe he initially was punishing me for having our third child by withholding sex. I've come to see over the past few months that I have been the ever willing, ever loving wife of a man who was covertly abusing me both emotionally and sexually. We have now a touchless marriage - except that one night a year we ML. No kisses, no hugs no nothing unless I initiate. I did not believe in divorce but now I have a reason to get a divorce - adultery.
I've come to think I don't really want to save this marriage. My biggest concern is my kids.
I've come to think I don't really want to save this marriage. My biggest concern is my kids.
Ok love then work from there. No one is going to judge you for doing that... it is your life. You deserve to enjoy your life. I would suggest posting your feelings and others can help you from there. It is Sunday and Super Bowl Sunday at that. *sigh* So... post how you feel .. let it out.... and tommorrow many others will be on the DB board with their advice and thoughts for you.
Great idea Flynn. He came home from a convention this afternoon and put a kleenex over the bottle (as if I wouldn't notice.) I thought before he got home I could just continue this rotten charade of a marriage and try to follow him everytime a dose is gone from the bottle but I only succeeded in falling to pieces after dropping a kid off at a friend's house. Then he asked me what was wrong - you see I'm not allowed to show emotion in his eyes. I have come to realize my marriage really stinks. I have read all the books, tried all the remedies but I just don't think I can handle it any longer. I am always so relieved and happy when he is out of town. After his last trip out of town he even noticed how happy I looked. How could I have been so blind. Was he having affairs the whole time we were married or is this just recent (apparently starting in May of last year according to his Levitra prescription history.) He has always been prone to emotional affairs but when I questioned them he said I was being ridiculous. I am sick of being manipulated but still not sure how to handle confrontation with him.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Jhawk....If it was me, I would need to know the truth, no matter what cost it was to losing money, etc. (if he pulled away the money and left me, for instance).
But instead of following him, I would confront him with the evidence you have and give him a chance to confess.
