Separation looming...A little freaked!

[Vdad]

Hello,

New group here so I will give some background . My sich is in infidelity if your curious. Last year has been hell for both of us. I initially had an EA about7 months ago. It devastated her. She decided to try and she did work hard at it. I was angry still (a problem I have had) she finally wore down and said she was done. I convinced her to stay and did everything wrong, talking the R to death, pleading, ect. She went on to have an EA herself. I exposed it and the OM said he couldn't continue. She sent a goodbye email on Friday and removed him from her Myspace account.

Okay..she now wants to separate to see if she can regain feelings for me. She says its impossible with all of the pressure of us living together. I have agreed to go down this road as she says she will file for divorce if I am unwilling to separate.

Here are the facts as I know them (random but true):

1. We are getting rid of our family home-financial devastation due to the mortgage industry. So staying in our current home not an option.
2. She is very focused on only 6 month leases. A good sign?
3. She is spending weekends at a girlfriends home. I have the kids all weekend. During the week I work and she is with them.
4. We are starting to have better convos. Nothing earth shaking but talking like we used to.
5. We are both in IC with the same Christian Psychologist. No MC at this time.
6. She feels totally controlled (never before her EA) and tracked. I did what i had to do to confirm her EA. Now I want to step away but want to know the EA is truly done.

I am in uncharted territory here and am looking for what worked and areas to stay away from. I know there isn't a ton of detail but I will answer any questions posed.

We have 4 children and will have some contact as this progresses.

Thoughts?

Jeff