The house is on the market

[JCJ]

(((Ali))) That would mean I would come out with exactly nothing and I really don't think anyone can say I have not put my part into this marriage. This is a vent at him not at you :-) I say this here instead of saying it to him as it makes me sound like a martyr - you naturally do these things for the person you love and I would do them again. And you asked me some good thought provoking questions. Thank you

I loved him unconditionally and was a good partner. I nursed him for years, worked two jobs while he was ill from 9am - 1am in the morning sometimes, single- handedly decorating this house, fighting for over a year for our marriage, and being dumped for no real reason after he returned to better health - although as you know I have done much soul searching and although at that time I wasn't a perfect wife as I was depressed for a period of 2 months and unemployed, I just needed his support. I cannot think about him anymore and his needs, he is not thinking about me and I need to secure my future. I am not that young anymore to save a deposit. I could have lived at home all this time and could have saved up that deposit and more if I hadn't married him. 'Morals' don't seem to come into it anymore with him - he shacked up with another woman - and morally I don't believe I am entitled to nothing. Plus his family just waste money like water - what I get would be nothing to them. All I can do is try to start my life over again. I'm ranting, not at you, at him I have mostly forgiven him for these things and I will move on but I am hurt and I need to look after myself - he chose to leave and not work on things. I won't say any of these things to him - that would sound desparate, all I know is what I am entitled to and that is all he needs to hear from me - I think he knows the rest which is why he couldn't look at me for so long.

(((Kassie)))

We trust in someone else who we think will always be there, make decisions that we think we will see the fruit of in years to come and just that things will turn out so differently.

Wow, you hit the nail on the head regarding my feelings. I think the reason why I find it so hard to let go is that I invested so much into the relationship.

I know you feel unprotected in more ways than one - what do you really need to keep yourself feeling safe

This is the thing, he has a new place and new girl - a change of scene and doesn't have to experience the loneliness. As they say here you can only change and you can only look after you too. I need to make some decisions for me now not for us or him. I'm not saying he is happy but he has made his choices.

(((Ms M)))
She is still my coach but I haven't phoned for a while - lack of funds and what i am doing seems to be working. I suppose you cannot put a time limit on these things and I can only go at his pace. If he goes to slowly and misses the boat with me then that is his loss. I don't really undrstand what he is feeling or what is going on with him. I think he cares but feels no romantic feelings towards me. I think all he can think about is the move and maybe once that is over we will be on a more even state. I think at the moment what i am doing is working in terms of his interactions with me, in terms of whether it is wanting me back or anything to do with ow - only time will tell I suppose. Thank you for your encouragement, it means a lot to have you here.

Ok, I know I shouldn't look but he has changed his FB info to 'in a relationship' that was a stinger. It may not be that I can meet him this week I need to get stonger. He will just have to wait.