Waiting for the Happily Ever After Part

[mockers2]

Hi Jackie ~

Goodness. (((((Jackie)))))

You are doing a great job. Stay steady and take one day at a time.

Here are my votes:

1. Act as if and let him find his own damn apt. Act as if you believe that this is time for him to think. Time and space. That's it.

I agree that you need to consider the possibility of a D, but try not to let this be your focus. You can cross that bridge when you come to it if necessary.

2. I'm not sure I understand what you're aking about the kids. I am fortunate in that our children are too young to understand much of what's going on. My thoughts on telling your children - Tell them together, and emphasize to them that you both love them very much no matter what.

3. This early on I'd let him come and go with no set schedule. I got alot of advice at first to "set up terms" of the separation, but I resisted this. Every sitation is different, and you may have to change things as the sitch changes, but I felt like it provides opportunities for me to act as if and show H the changes I'm making. I'm not advocating waiting around for him. Go ahead and make plans for you and the children. H could participate if he wanted to.
At some point, you may feel you need to give him a taste of reality, and maybe you feel like now is the time for that, but I would think it over first.

4. Let it drop about the therapist. He knows you are willing to help him find one. He knows you want to go to Retrovaille. When he is ready, he will tell you. I worry that continuing to bring it up would seem like pressure. My H said the same things about not being ready. Give him some time.


Good for you, Jackie for going to the beach. I did the same thing two w/e during this whole thing. (One w/e was the Retrovaille w/e we had registered for, the other was valentine's w/e - yuck!) It is hard, but by going you are showing him your strength.

Hopefully the intimacy will continue. I think you wrote to me once that it can be a bridge for the two of you.


I will be thinking of you and saying prayers. Hang in there. You have crossed one hurdle already.