Our house hasn't sold so the financial terms of the divorce (CS & A) haven't kicked in. Basically, I'm responsible for all. Hasn't been bad since she quit going to bars and burning money like it was going out of style. For the most part she hasn't been hitting me up for money that I didn't feel like was fair.
Thanks for the quick response G!
See above, Child Support & Alimoney haven't kicked in yet because the house hasn't sold. I have to pay ALL expenses at both houses until it does sell. She isn't dragging out the process, she wants to move very badly.
I do have it in our D papers that if she marries or cohabitates then the alimoney ends. Much to her disapproval. That will be the issue once the house sells. I strongly suspect she will move in with BF at that time. Her choice. I'd hate it for my kids but would be great for me in terms of $$. The alimoney is more than the child support.
The additional money I've been giving her isn't a major issue, more of an irritant. My primary concern is the boy staying over that much. If I didn't have three pretty daughters, it wouldn't be as big of a deal. I just feel like I should send her an email in order to "document" that I don't approve. If I say nothing to her, am I not giving tacit approval?
Just my 2 cents, I would send an email and document your point of view as tactfully as possible. I mean she can't know these kids that well already and hormones are starting to rage at that point.
Just let her know that you aren't saying anything will happen but why put chum in the water if you aren't wanting to attract sharks??
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Steve..I would contact my L and ask..I think you do have options as far as the BF's son staying..is the BF staying over also?? I would also think that if this boy is staying over then you should not have to feed him...with your money..JMO...I know if it was me..she would be getting what the law allowed her to have and no more....that's what she is entitled to..no more..no less..
Thanks guys... I pondered it for the day and in the end decided to sent a txt first, so as not to drive the discussion into an argument right off the bat. Fewer words, more direct question.
"Hey. Kids told me that KIDSNAME has been sleeping over a lot. What's up with that?"
She answered back yes and asked me if it was okay. I responded negative and she pretty much agreed to stop it. I'm monitoring it now, will follow up with more if need be. Talked to a L about "No overnight guests of opposite sex & not in family" clause in papers. He said that covered the SON of her BF. :-) Bet she didn't expect that!
Anyway, for the time being all is quiet on that front.
Mike, I got floored by a woman I met last night. It was someone that friends have been trying to get me to meet for a few weeks now. Went to a birthday party for three of us whose birthday was yesterday, friends invited her. Didn't think all that much of it and I wasn't holding my breath, but... WOW! We really hit it off. Dated a few women over the last year but this one is different some how!
Talked to a L about "No overnight guests of opposite sex & not in family" clause in papers. He said that covered the SON of her BF. :-) Bet she didn't expect that!
That will put a wrench in working out a system where they can have the kids at the same time and then no kids at other times so they can have some fun!!! The OM will have to have either his kids or hers over almost everyday and that will cramp their style!!!
Hey Steve.....I want to add tha clause to my D papers as well. Thing is I have been told that it really doesnt hold water. What recourse did your L say you would have if she did break it? And how did you get her to agree to the "losing alimony if she cohabitates"? My L told me that cohabitation does not make alimony go away. Just curious. Glad to see that someone new can rock your world a bit. Kudos to you!
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Mike, I got floored by a woman I met last night. It was someone that friends have been trying to get me to meet for a few weeks now. Went to a birthday party for three of us whose birthday was yesterday, friends invited her. Didn't think all that much of it and I wasn't holding my breath, but... WOW! We really hit it off. Dated a few women over the last year but this one is different some how!
