Sue, you are just too kind. As I was typing that, I was being interrupted every five minutes by some one walking into my office ... and on my lunch break too! ... so I just reread it and I really didn't like the way it turned out, but I guess I did get my point across.
Quoting Jackie: KAW, I hear what you are saying, I need to back off and let him deal with the stuff on his own, in his own way. I need to be strong and support the journey he is on.
... and in the meantime, focus on dancing in the minefield. ... for if you can come to enjoy dancing then ... you can dance your way thru anything!!
darkblue hit upon something I forgot to hit upon the first time around. Do you get along with BIL & his family? If so, no matter what the future brings, I'm sure you will continued to be welcomed by BIL, so you will always be "Auntie". Don't strain to see over yonder Jackie, the twins are here now and you are their Aunt. Make the most of that!
Quoting Jackie: I am going away this weekend and he will have the boys on his own on Friday and Saturday night.
This sounds like great timing for just such an arangement. It will allow H to deal with sons' concerns too, as no doubt they will probably bring them to light when they are with him. Hope you are planning something you will enjoy doing?
Quoting Jackie: I have no idea what Sunday night will bring.
Act "as-if" nothing will come of it being Sunday. No expectations. If something does happen to change the current dynamic, it will have to come from H!
Here's to you being smooth on your feet this weekend!
As I was typing that, I was being interrupted every five minutes by some one walking into my office ... and on my lunch break too! 
... so I just reread it and I really didn't like the way it turned out, but I guess I did get my point across. 
