Thanks for your help. I need to come up with some 180s, I am still very accomodating. His mom called again tonight to check on S6 and asked where H was. The at work may not be working for much longer.
H asked me to call him after I put the kids to bed, I don't know why as it was a frustrating and difficult conversation. I need to keep reminding myself he is in pain, he is not purposely setting out to hurt me.
I had printed off Heart Blessing's 6 stages for him. That, of course, annoyed him. He goes into the you accused me of being depressed 10 months ago and now you are saying I'm in a midlife crisis. I tried to tell him I just wanted to give him info so he wouldn't feel so very alone. But, I'm also wondering if I'm pushing will that make him pull.
Of course all his talk tonight was about separating and the dynamics of it. He is also upset that I am getting along so well without him. I asked him if that bothered him, he said yes. I told him that didn't me we didn't miss him.
I told him I saw that he had three options at the end of the week: 1. come home and we both work our butts off to make M work, 2. Continue think period in furnished apartment or 3 Break up family and get apartment. Well, he got upset at my choice of wording, break up the family. He takes it that I mean he would be shirking his parental responsiblity. I explained what I meant, we would never be a cohesive foursome again.
Everything I say is wrong, but I calmly try to explain what I'm saying. A 180 for me would be confrontational, I wonder if I should just stop being nice and say things bluntly. He did thank me for being so patient. I told him he was welcome.
I dont feel like I'm handling these conversations well, maybe because I want some type of resolution, and it isn't coming.
He had to go to bed early tonight for work tomorrow. He was also mad because on Sunday I was busy and we didn't go to Toys R Us together like we talked about.
Is the answer just not talking? Let him figure this out without me? When we do goodnight calls, just quickly put the kids on? He said he isn't doing as much writing as he thought he would be, thought he'd be doing pro and con lists. He said where he is at now is he isn't happy with the direction his life is going.
I thought I was fine with the thought of him filing for divorce, but my stomach is dropping at the thought of it. My BIL sounded just a little too happy at the idea of my H falling from grace in the eyes of my parents and he getting to be the good son in law for a change. Glad someone is happy about this.
