what a long strange trip it's been.

[Dr LOve]

thanks Sara,

It means alot comming from you. I know you get frustrated with me sometimes for letting things go. But like I said I want to coast this week and this would just be one more thing to "stress about" plus I think she would maybe project her stress on me "making her do it". Even though she was doing it with out a word from sme since out talk..
Night
Doc

[runningoutoftime]

I think it's being kind. You are being considerate about her starting her new job and want to make sure she's not too overly stressed (and it IS stressful starting a new job!). I think it was very generous of you, and by not adding to her stress at a stressful time things will be better for everyone in the household. The following week she'll feel more calm about her job and any family changes will be a smoother transition.

I don't think that's weakness, it's logic!

[saffie]

I ditto Sara and ROOT.

[Dr LOve]

Journaling....

SO this weekend went by great. W and I have been getting along really well. Almost like before all this crap happened. Of course I have not talked any R and I did give her a reprieve on moving out of son's room until next weekend so she can prepare for her first day a work Monday.(has not worked in over a year). I did buy her a nice pen to use on her first day at work. I was going to give it to her tonight but decided to just put in on her car seat so she will see it in the morning.
I actually had a dream last night about some intimacy happening between wife and me. I have not had a dream like that in over 2 years. Today I had a thought of asking W if instead of getting me something for my B-day this month if she would go to the movies with me and see "Fireproof" but I am not sure yet. I am kind of stuck in a quandary. I have tried so many times to fix my old Marriage... to fix our old relationship and nothing has worked. I am thinking If I could just let go of the past... not talk R at all but just keep building on what seems to have started this last week.... Maybe... just maybe a new R will rise from the ashes of the old.
Like forget about rebuilding the old marriage. Just start over fresh.
I think it would work... The only problem I will have is the elephant that was always in the room would just move to the inside of my head. It is something that needs to be resolved eventually... but maybe I could put it aside for now and build on our relationship and then when it is stronger W and I will be able to deal with it.
Wife has issues also and hopefully I can help her out. I feel her relaxing a little more around me. We are talking allot about "nothing" this weekend. I mean this is good because before we only spoke to each other about things that needed to be talked about.
Well got ta go
later
Doc

[Sara]

Give her the pen and get your thank you. She might think Santa put it in her car.

[whatdidido]

Fireproof is now on video. You can buy it. Not sure if you can rent it.

[oldtimer]

I think about the worst thing you could do right now is to get a movie with an agenda, especially one as in your face as Fireproof. If you think the premise of Fireproof (loving your wife for 40 days to save your M) is a good one, then try it yourself on your own without saying a word to W. Don't shove the message movie down her throat.

W is warming up no doubt in part because she got a job. But I think even moreso because you have stopped breathing down her neck and stopped looking for every possible opportunity to trigger something that will "Shake her up" and "make her see the light."

On the other hand, I think you hit upon about the best thing that you can do right now as well. Your idea about simply starting fresh is a great. And you are right that her issues and your issues would both have to be dealt with if you get into a strong stable R that you want to continue. But look at it this way, the exact same thing is true for each of you even if you start fresh with a new person rather than each other. Changing partners isn't going to make the problems go away. Worked through they will have to be eventually in a successful long term R. But, if you were dating someone new, you wouldn't burden your new R with those problems, you would give it a chance to grow. May as well do the same for your M, no?

[Yoyowife]

Doc,
DD's rented Fireproof the the other night. I agree with OT, I think you should watch it on your own and see what you think. Then perhaps you might want to get the book that goes along with the movie. I truly did think of you when I saw the movie. I really think you could benefit from watching this movie by yourself. I have included a link to the book that they talk about in the movie. Watch the movie and see what you think.

http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/resources/

[Dr LOve]

Thanks everyone,

Well Sara I did give W the pen last night. I actually got a little teary telling her how proud I was that she never gave up.
I told her the pen was from son and me.

She did thank me for it. (I was hoping for a least a hug)


But I did get some pleasure from watching her try it out checking out the different features. I really do think she liked it. allot of the presents I have given her in the past she just put down or gave it to our son.

You know Yoyo and OT, I have watched parts of the movie on line. I get emotional every time I do. And Dam% you OT. Why am I so transparent to you? I guess I was kind of hoping a light would come on in W's head watching the movie.
So you are right I will rent it and watch it myself.
AND I do think you are right (again) ot about "letting go" of the past at this time. I have seen a change in W this last week.
I almost left a note for her this morning wishing her luck on her first day at work but decided not to because of my "breathing down her neck and stopped looking for every possible opportunity to trigger something that will "Shake her up" and "make her see the light."

So the only thing that I want to do in regards to the last R is get her out of son's room this weekend. I will not bring it up unless I see no activates in this direction by Saturday.
I agree OT I think that if I can set my mind to a "fresh start" mode, if I want to stay in this relationship this is the best way to go about it.
Need to get to work so have a great day everyone

Doc

[Dr LOve]

Update........

Ok so I needed to pick up something at the store at lunch break. I walk in and there at the front door is a movie stand. Right in front was "Fireproof". The only one left..So I bought it.

Doc