Dating isn't design to fix any problems, it's to help you move on when all else fails. If it wakes up the WAS to try to work on the M then you have a choice. Yes the OW can get hurt IF you've allowed an real R to develop. The W could get hurt but considering they have been hurting us with their cheating and we lived I'm sure they will to. Hell you might like the OW better than the W anyway and that may be the way to go.
Is dating a good idea after a separation? I'd say no, you need at least 6 months or 2 years to consider a SEROUS relationship. Sometimes the best way to go over one person is with another as my W can attest to.
Bottom line is this is effective but care must be taken NOT to cross boundaries and not hurt a third party if leaving a door open for the W. My W moved in with her OM one month after leaving me which I found very disrespectful but I never said anything about it. I would not stoop to her level but if she THINKS I might I'm not going to reassure her. The only consequence she's felt so far is guilt. I don't want to list all I have dealt with in order take the high road all this time.
Something like this happened to me as I posted before about an ex-gf of mine. I chose the new gf who later became my W instead of going back to my old R and I don't regret it. I didn't date to make my ex jealous, I did it to help me get over her and it worked about better than I had thought. My W left me for another man and had no intentions of coming back, why can't I say "fine, I'm moving on to" and find my someone for myself?
I've been DBing successfully for 10 months and while I've had lots of success, in the end the lure of the OM was too much for her to overcome. I have a deadline in my head on how long I'll wait for her and the clock is almost up. We don't owe them anything after they leave us for a A. It was out of love that I've waited for and changed myself for my W all this time. If she doesn't appreciate it or even care what's the point?
Me:38 W:40 Bomb/EA 03/08 Recon twice 1/09 W files for D Story
