Well, he left. He came home lst night with the stone look, pissed at me and wouldn't talk to me. My calm left me, I felt okay when we were talking, but the stonewalling kills me. And then to see all the suitcases being filled. I started to get so angry at the whole thing--would have broken things, but knew I'd only have to clean up the mess. After the kids were in bed, I just left the house and went and read a book at Barnes and Nobles. Won't have that option anymore as sole caretaker of the children.
S6 was sick, so me going to the hospital wasn't an option and then we found out only grandparents were able to see the babies.
So the sadness is setting in, every part of the house or item has a memory associated with it.
This morning he asked me about my weekend plans, told him didn't know. He asked about church. Told him I was thinking of changing churches, but thought that would be selfish of me, the kids like this church. He said that shouldn't be a word I use (selfish) during this whole thing. I so wanted to say, I need be aware of it as you are being selfish enough for both of us.
Can't leave the house today as s6 still sick, just don't know what I'm going to do with myself.
