S, Let me try to explain to you what is going on. Your h is on an emotional rollercoaster. When emotions are all over the place, people say and react differently than if they are normal, rational individuals. That's why he's doing some of what he's doing. Haven't you ever had a time when you have been so emotionally upset that you did some unusual things? Well...if you have, multiply that by 50 and that's what is happening to your h.
I wouldn't call or communicate with him unless it's absolutely necessary. Just leave him alone. You can't be friends with him until he's settled down and seeks you out. The more you push, the harder he's going to pull away and trust me, you are going to be the punching bag for all of that spew. Now, do you really want to be the punching bag for his emotional baggage right now? I don't think so.
Keep the focus on you and also, read the mlc threads and the mlc archives. There is a lot of valuable information there that will answer a lot of your questions. The posters did a very good job of describing their situations from long ago. Also, read the current threads as well as you may find some who are at the same place you are and can chat w/you about their experiences.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
