... but I agree with Steve. Don't make any rash decisions towards seperation at this point. Try an in-house seperation of sorts and see if that helps. To my suprise for a month in the spring of last year, CAW had a lot of anger and hatred towards me when she was close to moving foward with a seperation.
Quoting Jackie: This is what I'm planning to say to him, what do you think?
I think the past year has shown that we are capable of having good times together. When I took my marriage vows and more importantly had kids, I made a commitment to provide a two parent family. I understand that you are confused and unsure of us and this marriage. If you decide to leave, that is your decision and I will not fight you or beg you to stay. My choice is to work on the marriage and stay and try to learn the secrets to fixing it. I will not give up, but I will be as understanding as possible if you do.
If you feel it will work to calm H down. The key points you want to get across is: - that you validate his position at this time. - that you are letting go of all expectations that H wants to work on M. - that you will back off and give him as much space and time as needed to him to figure out this stuff.
Then back waaayyy off! Be non-confrontal, especially when he is wallowing in his misery. He is still thinking you are the source of it, so you have to remove yourself from that equation so he can discover the true source. Give all the space he wants and focus on doing stuff just for you and the kids. Focus on presenting that PMA and being upbeat whenever around him. Be polite and pleasant at all times and let him know he is welcome to join in with what your doing but its also OK if he doesn't want to.
I know how hard it is to deal with this all over again? Are there friends you can spend more time with right now? Its an emotional time and you need to ride them out before making any major decisions. In the meantime, concentrate on doing good stuff for yourself, for your kids.
