The Jealousy Button (men only)

[RobD70]

I see frequently the advice to not answer the phone or e-mail, which is essentially a ploy to give the impression that you are away doing something. You're supposed to "fake it until you can make it"; pretend you're happy. So, all this dissembling is fine, but not really dating?

I thought the point of not immediately answering phone calls, of pretending to be out and having a life, was to keep from sending the message that you are still hanging on every contact from your spouse. You're trying to not appear desperate or incapable of being on your own.

And I think that's a GREAT deal different than actually dating another person.

Seems like a good rule of thumb is, "If you would do it with your spouse at home in a good marriage, then do it. Otherwise, think twice."


Blessings,

Bill

Not just that but make them wonder what you are doing. They wont really want you back until they think they can't have you. My dad use to say "Always keep them guessing".

Now I wouldn't suggest this if there isn't an OM. If your W is going solo then I'd say wait her out. If there is an A then all bets should be off.

My W didn't leave and have an A to get my attention, she wanted out and the past 10 months I've been resisting her wishes and trying to make her stay. Technically I should be D by now according to her. If she thought I could change the A wouldn't have happened so I'm on borrowed time as I see it. Hell she may be moving in with the OM as we speak so I'm not overly concerned about being her safety net if it doesn't work out again in a few months. I love her to death but there's just so much I'm willing to take so if dating makes her pause then so be it.

I've done so much and my W knows it. There's nothing left for me to do but go dark anyway. As long as she has feelings for the OM I'm going to be in limbo or worse, D. There's nothing left for me to try.

They main problem is hurting an OW so I'd say fake dating or keep it in the friendship zone and have it "appear" like it's more than it is to make them worry. Is that really that bad?