The Jealousy Button (men only)

[RobD70]

I have to say it. It's about rose colored glasses. This may come as a shock, but your wife isn't "all that and a bag of chips" and your marriage likely wasn't picture perfect prior to the bomb. If you were really honest with yourself, your wife is probably a fairly piss poor match at the moment. She's pretty self-centered and maybe has more than a few screws loose. Why shouldn't you do a little comparative looking around. I think it helps to see that. We need a little kick so we think, "why am I pining away for this woman. She's the one cheating and running around like a teenager. Why shouldn't she be chasing me?"

P.S. When I said "your wife", I wasn't talking about anyone in particulars wife.

Phoenix I have been thinking about this alot lately. Even though my W was unhappy in our marriage I was unhappy too. I just tolerated it more than she did.

I often wonder what I'm holding onto and why: My W? The R we could have and not the one we did have? Keeping my family together? Atonening for my mistakes? Avoiding the pain I see ahead/financial struggles/time away from my kids/the house we bought together?

At this point I really can't answer that question. There's a mix in there somewhere but as far as my R - it wasn't good for a long time, and it was really chity for that past year. What the heck am I pining for?

I wonder this too. There was some good things about my W but there were some things I didn't care for either. She was far from perfect but she had enough good qualities for me stay. However I don't have many "requirements" for someone to be marriage material so it's not like someone else can't fill her shoes. That's hard for me to say but my W replaced me so what stops me from replacing her? I don't know 100% for certain the I will ever forgive her for her A and I don't think she's even ask me now that I think about it?

I still put my W on a pedestal but I don't know how long she'll stay there.