I can't even begin to tell you how hurt I think she still is. Did you guys never work through the affair? It seems like I remember you saying you didn't. YOU have to work through that with her. She may not want to, but she NEEDS to. If you can convince her to go to counseling WITH you - go by yourself and then tell her you are going and the counselor would like to see you both to get a better perspective of the stitch, whatever, but DO IT. I do think your marriage is salvageable, but I also think you are going to have to step up to the plate more for your own "stuff".
I think it will be hard for both of you. But I'm sure she has things she needs to say to you and tell you about how hurt she was. And maybe, if you can help her get thru them, you'll find your wife at the other side.
Mel
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
