S&A, I don't have a lot of time to respond fully but I want to say that before she left today I talked to her concerning her trust issue with me (the not trusting that I won't leave again).
"W, I have been thinking about what you said about trusting me. If we have the passion and show each other the love each day as I am wanting in our marriage, I would have no reason to leave. Why would I ever leave if everything that I desire is right here with you? You need to know that I do love you and I want to be with you but not in an empty relationship."
She questioned, "How will I know if what I am doing good enough?"
I answered, "There are no guarantees about anything in life. Want me because it is something that you want not because it will keep me around."
I felt really confident saying this to her. We hugged and kissed before she had to leave.
S&A I think I will get NMMNG. You are right that my self image is sucking for air right now. My father was in my life (my folks divorced when I was 10 and mom never remarried) and we did do many things together and had a pretty good relationship. I was however raised more by my mom, 2 sisters, gram and aunt. No guys around regularly. I have denied that this could be part of my problem relating with my W. I think I do need to take a look at that book.
S&A I'm sorry I poo-pooed your advice for so long man. My W even said today, "H, you are just so touchy-feely like a woman. You are that way because you were raised by all women." Duh.... I'm a prime candidate for a "nice guy".
It sure does take a long time of looking inward before you really see the truth that lies within.
