Sage, KAW, PnT, Rob, Lee, thank you for rallying around and the wonderful advice.
I've been thinking, why does he feel like I grill? I am sincere, that I know, but I think some of the suggestions you all give could give light to the situation. I do ask when he gets home, how are you, how was your day. I need to change this into a postive questions and be able to drop it if he doesn't want to talk. And right when he gets home is probably the worst time to start a conversation, I gotta realize he needs down time. I know I am guilty of taking over a conversation, I need to make a big effort to stop that from happening.
The OW history is what I suspect is/was a EA. Last Fall all these weird calls began and he going outside to talk. Right after the bomb I snooped one and only time on the cell and saw who called. H went through the roof. We have never mentioned this in all the time, the only thing I asked 10 months ago was about other people, he told me he had friends at work. I asked if he was sleeping with them and he said no. It just took me by surprise that this happened again, that and s6 1st day of 1st grade and holding my friend's newborn all seemed to bring up emotions. I did go outside and sit calmly and ask myself if what I wanted to say to H would help me (I was ready to confront him about everything!). I don't know if the convo was a baby step, we went to bed and everything overwhelmed me and I started crying. He asked me about it and said you might as well tell me, I won't let this go until you do. So, that is a bit different, usually he gets annoyed and defensive if I cry.
I think I may have been letting resentment slip in and have stopped doing things for me, which always does proceed a downturn in my outlook. So back on the wagon today and off to karate. Also looking for dumbells and a weight bench to get going (again) on Body for Life. And I am a competive person, so maybe I'll use the OW to my advantage and get this body in shape.
Thank you all for your insights and help. It is such an ongoing process, even though I'm learning, if I don't put that knowledge to use it seems to slip away.
