Waiting for the Happily Ever After Part

[sage]

Hi Jackie,

I feel like we are right back down the rabbit hole again.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling "same old stuff" again....I see positives in the rest of your post, though...

We talked a little last night, I told him I feel alone and unimportant. I miss hearing him say ILY. He told me a bunch of things, but wouldn't say ILY. I asked him about it and he said that he just doesn't feel that way much of the time, work gets in the way, he feels I grill him about work and I'm not sincere in asking about his day, just doing it to go through the motions. His day is such a big part of him, I know I feel left out when he won't talk, but based on the comments I get here, i thought I had been axing the grilling part, guess not enough.

I'm sorry that h isn't able to say ILY right now...I do think it's great that you guys were able to talk about it! Is that a babystep for you all?

You may not be up for it right now ... but h has given you some clues as to what he's needing...what does he mean by "grilling" -- is he getting the sense from you that you don't trust him with something? (I'm sorry that I don't know this detail...is ow someone h works with??)

And, the statement he makes about you not being sincere when you ask about his day...do you see any truth there?

I'm wondering...did you ask HIM how things would "look" in his perfect world? In other words, what would a conversation "sound like" if you weren't grilling but were sincere??? (I'll admit that that sounds like a mighty fine balancing act...)

But, you know what? I'm hearing that you're probably not up for this right now...so, how 'bout YOU???? First off, here's a giant "you go girl" for doing ALL you do around the house!!! H doesn't thank you??? Well, I will...because YOU deserve it! What can Jackie do to give herself a giant pat on the back?

Maybe it's time to take a break from "fixing" stuff??? If you can manage feeling at odds with yourself for a while...coasting along may not be a bad thing? (Just til you get your next wind...?)

Sage