I just talked to hubby yesterday about his old Tattoo again.
"The cover up wasnt very good.."
I told him.
"Her name seems to be raised on your skin as if from hell, love..."


First time he let me say it and didnt roll his eyes or say just deal with it.
I am finding the more direct I am ?
The better I feel and I get what I want......
I have to keep the whip out so to speak.
I cant go back to sweet Ali.
I have to be strong , assured , assertive and confident Ali.


Example * probably a terrible one but I am trusting that I can say X and he receives it well.*

I will admit that *I* have gotten very defensive un the past when he says x. y or z isnt good.
It hurts.
I wanted to keep nursing the hurt instead of taking a leap of faith that he could be trusted.'KWIM?
Why should I fix myself when you are the one who needs fixing , you will just leave when I feel comfortable????
You open your heart first and then I will open up mine.....
etc etc etc

( aside from the alcohol and VA ( verbal abuse )... \:\( ) WHOLE other thing.

The trust thing taints everything she does.
Even if she wants to get close give to you, She tells herself NO.
He is just going to leave ,,so why bother.
IMO~ random thoughts.

I think if you can get thru this, things can get lighter for you two.
HOW TO GET THERE?

What ideas do you have?

Ali