My worst fears confirmed! Wife having EA/PA...

[25yearsmlc]

well Jeff, first, this sucks. Sorry. But when h left for training for a year and took the 90% pay cut, (thanks for that!!) he somehow missed us but not as much as I hoped. When he went to Alaska, something clicked and he took his boards on 9-9. That night he called, and seemed to be saying "where are you? where is everyone?" Like he finally noticed he was all alone. Oops. And he did miss us. But damn, it took a YEAR for that switch to go on, and over the 2nd year's time, he pleaded in every call, and seemed to change for the better and told me he'd be diff and appreciative and ya da ya da, and literally "begged" me to come and so...wth? d11 and I joined him for a year, after dropping d19 off at college. Mistake? Don't think so. We got closer and I will always know we gave his dream a chance, so he can't say I refused and become bitter/victim man, and HE knows it failed for reasons having to do with the idiot business model and nothing to do with me. Heck, I worked for the company too. I helped them float longer.

I would never have imagined how long it would take him to get his act together, but I also had no idea how long I'd be able to wait. If you GAL you'll find you are stronger than you know. Now, I don't think I could do it all again, fwiw, but maximum DBing for me, is a once in a life time deal. "On going" DBing, sure, cuz it helps in an ongoing way. But to go thru another MLC or whatever this crap was? No, not the whole crazy limbo again.

But that's cause I put a good two years into this, of us apart. There was crap before that too. All in all, a few years... So, Can you do this?

I mean, so far I can say that it was worth it. To ME, and to h. Once you GAL, you'll find you can live without knowing the future, for awhile. I paid the bills, took care of the kids, went to school myself and joined some things I needed to join (and came here!). Oh, and I got a DB coach which helped A LOT...But once the adjustments were made, that was that. I had a life. Our "family" had a life even though we were not all together. Remember there are soldiers gone for long times and they stay close to their families and the "families" are still families when their soldier dad/mom is gone. You can do this.

Some M's have to end so they can be rebuilt, some WAS's have to bottom out. Doesn't mean it's over. Hang in there. Sending hugs/prayers your way Jeff.
((j ))