<< He took time he didnt have. And time costs... Nobody can escape the price. Nobody. K, Sounds very absolute not sure I can make this sort of of judgement with such certainty.
As I was telling a dear friend, this time I am doing the whole thing. Control negative thoughts, be patient, loving and I will do my best to make it easier on him to express himself. I dont want anything to "cancel" this effort and second guess myself afterwards. No "what ifs" etc .
8 weeks K. You can do this. Don't call the race before it's over.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
fb2, sorry but I am pretty sure about this. Nobody can escape the price.
Bill, you are right. And although I am being negative here, using this board to vent, this is what I did this morning : took the day off from work since the kids were off school. I am done already with kids' studying and called him to invite him to stay the night here so that in the morning we can go early at the C. He said he is sick again and will call me back... I suggested he sees a doctor since he has this cold for too long and he smokes very much. He said maybe he will. I am planning to take some food to the newspaper later for him since his LL is AOS. We'll see.
When our "donkey has died," it has died. You are strong to continue forward and to allow for the possibility that the donkey might be revived.
But I've seen lots of movies where dead things were revived. It's usually really hard. And lots of times you're not real happy with what gets resurrected.
A bad analogy perhaps. I don't mean to further discourage you.
I simply do believe that a point can be reached where we have detached to the point of no longer having the love. And that makes it hard, because the love is what gives us the ability to offer the benefit of the doubt and gobs of patience.
It's a tough road. I think highly of you that you are willing to be sure.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
Well, thanks Bill. It is a tough road indeed. Funny how now i can explain all his ups and downs and his behavior during the six months before the bomb. It is scary...
H said he didnt want to come over because he is afraid he will give me and the kids the virus. He arranged to to go the doctor that's close to our house. So, I went and met him there without telling him. He seemed very happy to see me there.
People look very weak while being examined. I was looking at him looking like a kid. He has nothing serious but the fact that he is smoking so much is making things worse. While waiting he kept touching my leg and caressing me.
I asked him if he has the C's exercises done and he said yes, typed and printed. We arranged that he will come to pick me up tomorrow and we'll go together. He also said he works tomorrow and has Sunday off.
It was a pleasant interaction and he looks grateful I joined him. I couldnt help remembering that 2,5 years ago when I had found a lump and went for a mammogram he didnt come with me. He went to work and asked me to call him. He had felt the lump and I had felt it the same date his mom had felt hers 3 years before. It was a scary coincidence. I remembered waiting at the doctor's office for the results and feeling very lonely but was not mad at him because in my head I was excusing him for being weak and afraid to come with me. That night he had hugged me and I think a couple of tears were there when he told me "If something was wrong I couldn't live without you". Still, he took care of him and not me at that time. I remember my friends being shocked that he didn't come with me since he knew something was there, that it wasn't my imagination, it was a real possibility that I was sick ...
K, I happen to think its not what we do but how we do it that counts. Have you heard of "loving detachment" and is it another load of BS like "love is a decision"? And I would think you may have to pay dearly to revive a dead "donkey" (not sure where the donkey came from, I'm guessing its a derivative of "dumb ass ..."). You too may not be able to escape the price you pay but as FG says you have to ask yourself "is it worth the price?" Looks like it is in your case or you wouldn't be here duking it out to the wire. I'd like to see what happens when 8 weeks comes by and all your expectations are not met. And like you keep saying ... "we'll see".
A happy family is worth the price. Absolutely. The reason I am having a hard time is because I am trying to see if there is room for me to be happy within this "happy family".
I dont expect to have my expectations met in 8 weeks. I am no fool. I hope I will either start have some feelings for him and he will have some idea of what kind of "work" an R needs to be kept over the danger zone or I will feel so dead inside that I will be able to make a decision to proceed with the divorce.
I am not expecting to have a dream marriage by the end of these weeks. I definitely want to feel some progress by then though. K
I like how you are thinking, K. Everything will not be roses in 8 weeks' time. But you will be able to see if there is that desire there to see what will grow, or not.
Glad your H is not too sick and it was nice for you to surprise him.
