You may have to look into a child guardian, or some other such separate party, to look after the kids' interests. The guardian would have to be paid, and that cost is usually shared by both parties (not sure if you can prove that she pushed you into that measure and have her responsible to pay the costs)...
From her position, I can't imagine her being able to get away with more than 50% of the time and shared agreements for custody and major decisions. You are right; she is the one with the adultery, and the judge will take that under consideration. It doesn't automatically go to the mother's anymore.
I'm sorry...you are right. Do you think she would go to co-parenting "training" with you - again, the 3rd party might be able to hold more sway in that...
