Standing on the Edge

[native]

Me too. Now I don't feel my W is being Dis respectful but now when I call her it's like "ya what do you want I'm Busy" now she does not say that but that is how I feel. However when one of her GF call she can talk for an hour about nothing.

Dr. Love, I think that something I did recently really has made a sea-level change in our relationship, despite that last neg. conversation.

After much meditation on all the things that seemed to make my w unhappy re our R, it seemed clear that it boiled down to one area, namely sex and intimacy.

Now she has blasted me about any manner of other issues, and she has been passive agressive throughout our R, but a lot of the heat of our discontent has centered around her rape/trauma wounds and her need for extra-special treatment.

So I addressed this head on a few weeks ago at lunch. I apologised for not being sensitive to her needs, etc etc, and basically pledged to put her needs, sense of comfort, safety and pleasure first, if we were to ever work this out.

She did'nt jump into my arms right then, but in general I have noticed a difference in the way in which she has been treating me.

BTW, the bad conversation I had with her recently can be chalked up to her exhaustion and her being in the middle of her period. So I am not taking it to heart.

We have had several congenial conversations since.

So with that being said, is it possible that there is one underlying dissapointment or hurt, etc that your W needs to have you address so she understands that you really get it ?

This is all I can offer you right now, because it seems to have helped to open the door for me. I hope this helps....