LOL, don't really care if the laptop explodes. I could live with that. But I really do like getting paid and it would suck if Big Brother determined that I was abusing my privileges and decided I should be unemployed.
I do like my job, and the paycheck that comes with it.
You are scared? BS. You'll figure out what you want to do in your own time. You've got a lot going on. I agree that it would be nice to put some closure on this issue but it's not the biggest iron in the fire. Do it at your own pace. It'll work out.
