Go placidly amid the noise and haste, And remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly & clearly; and listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud & aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain & bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing future of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue & loneliness. Beyond wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Today at work one of the girls was telling me how she is sick of her Husband, he doesn't pay attention to her, he is controlling and the usual blah, blah, blah stuff.
Then came the usual .....And I have feelings for someone else.
So, I asked her what the "other person" gives her that her Husband doesn't.
Anyway, this is what got me thinking..
On your Wedding Day you probably looked your best.
And then what happened throughout the years?
Weight gain Not caring so much about your appearance Not wearing make-up Allowing the kids to come first Wearing frumpy clothes Too tired for sex Fast food for dinner
The list goes on and on.
I guess my point is this...
We all have things we need to change. We all have character flaws.
We can all make ourselves look better, which will in fact make us feel better, which will give you a feeling of self confidence.
I also know that I will receive the argument.."But my Husband never complained about my weight, or me allowing my hair to go grey, or not wearing make-up"
That may be true....
But... if there is OW in the picture, more then likely she is paying alot more attention to her looks, and to your Husband then you were.
Maybe it is superficial and shallow, but Men are attracted to physical beauty first. It is how they are made, they can't help it. They notice Women.
This post isn't to offend anyone here, it is just food for thought.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I agree that we often let ourselves go, once a relationship becomes 'certain'.
But what I think triggers someone to have an affair, is being given ATTENTION and CREDIT for deeds done by another person. This person isn't always better dressed or better looking, but they have a way of giving compliments to the soul, therefore reaching that person's heart in exactly the right way, and off they go to have an affair !
So, not only should we look after ourselves, we must also not forget to compliment our spouse !
An example was given on Oprah the other day. A guy was saying how he had been out jogging with his wife, and while they were running his wife had said to him 'you know, when you run...' (he immediately thought his wife would criticize him...) but she said, 'when you run, you look SO SEXY !' the man started GLOWING and said that all the lovey dovey feelings came up, just hearing her say that !
I think sometimes it is more simple than we think...but we must make the effort !
Don't forget how lovely it is when someone says something nice about you, it's ENERGIZING !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Weight gain Not caring so much about your appearance Not wearing make-up Allowing the kids to come first Wearing frumpy clothes Too tired for sex
All of these above I am guilty of. Although my husband always told me that he prefered me without makeup.
The ow does not wear makeup either and she dresses manly or frumpy. Before my H's mlc he did not find the ow attractive. I don't think it was her so called beauty he fell in love with. He fell in love with her because the way she made him feel, like a king. She does not have the day to day responsibilites like I had so she was able to be all fun and give him her undivided attention. So it was not the physical beauty he was attractive to.
And I did make a lot of these changes but it did not matter. Maybe it just goes to show it's more about them then about us.
