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#1695175 01/16/09 12:49 PM
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i feel stuck...

my h is still seeing the ow, he still isnt living home but tells me he is coming home, speaks about opening family business with my side of the family.

cake eating im sure but i do not know how to force his hand on ending it with her. going dark will not help me. ive tried it actually and all it did was let their relationship thrive more. but what else is there?

im afraid to give a true ultimatum because i know i will not follow through and proceed with a legal separation/divorce.

it seems nothing i do changes the situation. i can rant and rave about her, it doesnt hurt me. i can not talk about her at all and it doesnt help me.

any suggestions at this point? it just seems out of my hands.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
mdoodles #1695207 01/16/09 01:59 PM
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Hi Doodles,

These things take a long time. You don't give timeframes. That might be helpful in terms of responding more fully.

For now, I hope that you can focus on you, taking good care of yourself and living life the way you want too.

I'll check back later.

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the problem is that it has been a long time. his affair started in 2006, i only found out in april 2008.

i just feel like i cant sit back anymore, yet im not ready to move forward with divorce. and the fact that he will talk to my family about starting the business, i just feel that he should come home already and put an end to the affair now. today.

our house is in foreclosure, he is in way above his head in debt.

and nothing i say or do matters. we are on great terms, we dont fight and i dont annoy him when i rant about her.

like i said, im stuck because its out of my hands.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
mdoodles #1705575 01/29/09 10:16 PM
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mdoodles- Wanted to check in and see how you are doing.


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