spellfire I really appreciate the replies to my posts, seems to me you really get me and my situation, glad to see that my situation isn't totally unique.
She has her days where the bad attitude comes out of her and I've been sticking to my guns to not get sucked into an argument. I have even told her a few times that I just don't feel like arguing, that I won't get sucked into an argument and when she does feel like arguing, I try not to reply as much, let her do most of the talking and keep my cool and keep my attitude in check. It is so easy to get sucked into an argument, it does require discipline to let things go.
The analytical person in me keeps thinking though that if I let her argue with me or be mean to me and not stand up for myself and just keep my mouth shut and not argue back with her, I'm telling her that it's ok to do those things and I'm definitely not ok with arguing, bad mouthing, bad attitudes, etc.
But I'm remembering what you're saying, I'm a wall, a strong wall and I have to show her and probably more importantly myself that she can't tear down that wall.
Anyone have problems with detachment? Some days are easier than others. My real question is sometimes, it is so easy to detach, too easy in fact, I consider just giving up on this and start dating again and starting over. I love her and want her to wake up see value in me, in us, our marriage, our family and not just for our kids but for her & for me. I start thinking about how much time this is wasting, that I could get hit by a truck and all of my efforts would be in vain. Isn't life short, shouldn't we be valuing it by not wasting time, living for today?
It would be so easy to start over again. I saw a girl I used to date and she was really impressed by how I looked, what I did for a living, we talked a bit and to be honest there is physical chemistry still there - sometimes you can literally feel it. She told me to call her sometime to go out for a drink and gave me her number.
However I love my wife and want my marriage to work so I can't follow up on that offer but I tell you on those days where I think it would be easy to give up my work on DB'ing and just have fun and start over, it can be a struggle to find a reason in me to stay put and stay on the course and work on making my marriage successful even if it's just me working on it.
Maybe there's a lesson in there too. It's easy to start over again, it's easy to find someone new but having discipline and a strong resolve to fix what is broken is important, and choosing the easier paths in life doesn't build character and doesn't say alot about you. The flipside is maybe life doesn't have to be hard and I make things difficult on myself because i just don't know when to quit.
