In any event, I'm telling you this so that you know that I'm also working on setting boundaries on my end, and I know it is hard. But I do think our H has lost respect for us b/c we haven't set the boundaries.
No doubt.
I think the FIRST thing you have to decide is WHAT YOU WANT:
1) Are you DBing (working on your marriage), or
2) Are you wanting to divorce, or
3) Are you wanting the arrangement largely the way it is now (limbo)?
That might sound like a stupid question, and I need to find someone who posted it MUCH smarter on someone else's thread recently (maybe it was Saffie?), but the distinctions DO matter.
Your husband thinks it's #3, because that's what you've allowed him to do. You'll almost certainly claim your goal is #1, because that's the "correct" answer. But your actions -- at least from your husband's point of view -- are almost certainly #3.
