Choc, you know I love you, but that rape v infidelity comparison is extremely bad form. It's like saying being blind is worse than being deaf. For some people, perhaps. For others, not. Not your job to quantify, even to make a point.

Using any such comparison in an attempt to put a comparative 'value' on the pain of different experiences runs a high risk of appearing to devalue the pain defined as 'lesser', especially when using such an inflammatory issue as rape.

I'd think twice before using it. JMHO.

BTW, I could not be more thrilled about where your marriage is going.

Sorry for the hijack, Vdad. About the surveillance ... if you have been an A-type, 'have-to-know-NOW' kinda guy, easing off here for the time being might indeed be a valuable turnaround and growth opportunity for you, as you said. The software's installed, you can always use it anytime, right?

"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes.
Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert