Last question to you all.. Is snooping/surviellence a lack of trust in God? Should I just lay it at his feet and get out of his way?
Jeff,
That is something I struggled with as well, and something you will have to take to our Lord in prayer and determine for yourself. My personal prayers were for God to show me the things (or allow me to see the things) I needed to see, and to give me the strength to deal with them once He showed me. I wanted wisdom, and discernment, and since we live in an earthly world and are not omniscient nor omnipresent, as He is, then that wisdom and discernment often comes thru other people He places in our lives, and in things He allows us to witness and experience.
I was continually nothing short of stunned and AMAZED how this worked out, so many times! When I found myself getting weak, and beginning to appease or "please" He would allow me to see or hear something that would steel my resolve. And when I got TOO cold and detached, He allowed me to see my wife's pain, and her vulnerability, and hold on to my love for her and to give grace.
I also prayed that I had a family to support, on just my income, and that I had neither the time nor the inclination to fritter away my day slothfully just snooping on my wife. That if there were things I needed to know in order to make wise decisions, then He would have to help me do it EFFICIENTLY, and SMARTLY. Hence the keylogger, GPS, and voice-activated recorder. I really spent no more than one or or so a day at this -- often far less.
Jesus taught us to be wise, and to know when others are trying to deceive us and that there's a time to speak up and a time to hold something in your heart. He was (and is!) forgiving, but He was also shrewd. I believe God left us, with His Holy Spirit, both a prayer channel and a wonderful brain. I try to use them both, always asking Him to correct me when I'm erring.
I don't believe God ever told us to trust our enemies. I think he merely told us to LOVE them, and to FORGIVE them, unconditionally, which I try to do. I guess where I differ with some is that I believe that -- while in the wayward state (actively involved in an affair) -- our spouses, and their OM/OW, are in fact an enemy of our marriage.
So I strove to love the woman, but oppose their plan with all my being. I tried to make a distinction between the sin and the sinner.
I hope that helps. It's a phenomenal, and tough, question.
