DD, I understand why you said what you said. But do you need to rub it in their faces that she could have seen them but chose not to do so, and that she doesn't want to come home, and be a family, but that you do, etc? That makes you "right" and her totally wrong. They don't need to hear that from you. They get it. But they really want and need to believe that she loves them. However emotionally crippled she may be, she does care. (And Even if she didn't, I would never tell a child that).
I mean that is rejection of them, (in their eyes). The facts speak for themselves and you could take the high road and identify the behavior that created the problem without indicting her love for them. IOW, she crossed the line and is paying for it now (with the crazy behavior we discussed earlier) but why say she doesn't want to see them? Why tell them that? Simply state that you are not preventing it from happening. Let them wonder and hope that she has car trouble or had to work or whatever, as long as they don't blame you, why tell them that she doesn't care enough to see them? Make sense?
When our children misbehave, we don't tell them we don't love them; we say we don't like that behavior...same goes for this, imho.
Anyhow, glad they're excited about a home where there is stability and that is huge. Bigger than even they realize. Screw the "kids are resilient" and "we adults deserve to explore ourselves and do what makes US happy" belief system. That is 100% backwards.
( j )
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
