Thank you WP for your explanation. I guess I was just surprised b/c I am trying to remember if I had ever heard anyone say that before. I had an EA and though I never met the man in person (it was all over the Internet), it was powerful, but I kept thinking that if it had led to an actual physical connection that I would have been lost for sure. I had always been taught that men could have sex without the emotional connection whereas with most women the physical act of sex was more......"soulish" for them (I suppose)....emotionally anyway. That was one of the reasons that I did hold back on meeting the man in person was b/c I felt that once it went physical that it would be so much harder to end the affair. Anyway, I have always been so glad that I didn't have a PA, b/c I think for me, it would have been awful trying to get over the guilt and reconcile with my H, if we ever did reconcile afterwards. I don't know that he could have forgiven me if it had went to the physical level, but he was able to forgive the EA. I do agree that EA's are a lot more stronger than most people give it credit and that is why it upsets me to see a man say that his wife was seeing or talking to another man but that he thought it was just and EA! I don't know about men, but I believe for women, they fantasize so much about what they want the affair or R to be that they keep it alive in their minds. That was my problem after I even broke contact with the OM. I kept thinking about him and keeping it alive in my mind, so I had to overcome that to be able to try to make my M work.
Anyway, thanks for you comments about it.
Sandi2
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
