Thanks so much for responding back. I hoped you would because I have followed your sitch and I admire your courage.
I wish I had found this site when we first split up. I did just about everything wrong in the seperation that I could have. At the start I truly believe she was trying to give me a wake up call and I pushed her away with all of the stupid things I did.
To answer one of your questions, I have two sons, ages 12 and 16. They are both great kids and have helped me so much through this. At first they had a hard time with their mom because they found out rather quickly about OM. She really did not try to hide it after divorce paers were signed. Same old crap about marriage being over for years so it really didn't matter. It did matter to them and they were very angry with her for a while. I have been ever so careful to not speak badly of their mother and have encouraged them to talk to her about things. That part seems to be better now.
I have remained close to my in-laws and they are completely devestated about things. Ex has only taken OM around them twice and it did not go well. Ex accuses me of using them against her. That is not the case, I have just always been close to them and we still are. My sil says ex tells her all the time she is tiring of OM and he gets on her nerves. However, she also told her that when OM spends the night he sleeps in one of the boy's beds since they are with me when he stays over. I know that is a lie so everything she tells her is a lie I am sure. What are your thoughts on remaining close to my in-laws?
Up until Christmas there was alot of contact from her and she would even come by my house some. Since then she has initiated very little contact. I guess as you said that is good because it makes it easier for me to detach.
My oldest son is on the high school baseball team and for the next three or four months we will be seeing each other alot at games. We have always had reserved seats and we do this year. She questioned us sitting together, but then said that would be ok. How should I handle this? I know it will mean alot to our son to have us both there.
I see this as time to show her some improvements in myself. I have always kind of kept to myself at the games and she has said I should talk to people more. I look at as I am there to watch a game, not socialize. I intend to spend alot more time talking to the other parents and getting more involved with the players. I see this as twofold, it will show her a new side of me, and it will keep us from being together for the whole game.
I will end with this. She has the kids this weekend and I possibly have a date and have also been invited to a super bowl party so I am going to enjoy myself.
Thank you so much for the advice and looking foward to hearing back. Mic
