Perhaps I am wrong in this, only time will tell, but I thought long and hard about returning BF's email. It came down to the fact that I ignored the note he left Mon night and will not be in contact again until Tue at the earliest. I thought being polite was more important at this early stage.
I still don't know if going totally dark is the right way for me yet. I took a big detaching step when I kicked him out of the house. It has helped me a lot to have my personal space back. And I still am detaching as usually I would respond to his email right away. Baby steps!
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
I would argue that in the midst of a period of NC - very occasional, very LIGHT responses are probably good.
I hate to overthink it, but really a hurried civil response would indicate to me that the person was busy, and didn't have time to chat - not a bad impression to give off.
So, let me ask all of the DA club - what are YOU doing to be busy, and not have time to chat? Today I'm snowed in - so I slept in, have been cleaning, watched some TV - really a rather nice day. Spent 1/2 hour composing email to W, but now I'm back on the cleaning rampage.
Work is NOT the best thing to do to fill your time, but I'm setting up for a Super Bowl get together for this weekend! Woot!
Well, I have my 10 month old baby that keeps me busy. Still finding myself way too wrapped up in my sich though. Given all the circumstances I should be much farther along mentally.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
My kids are six and eight - I sometimes wish that we had more kids, but I wouldn't wish this pain on any more children!
I gave my W an ultimatum - end the affair or hand me dissolution papers - otherwise I would file divorce. She responded with "I am getting dissolution papers but it is taking time." What a bi***!
I am now back in the club. Starting today, I'm going completely dark. I'm so ready to be over with this!
At least you gave it some thought. JD is making excuses as he can't help but reply, lol (J/K)
I agree to a point, but there again every sitch is slightly different. In the past I have sent W the odd txt and got no reply whatsoever, so I do that as well. SHE is the one that wanted to remain friends, but only on her terms apparently. Well my terms count too.
As I said, horses for courses. I think that as long as we all give careful thought to whether we should reply or not, then the decision is not made on emotion alone. That is the most important thing.
As far as keeping busy. Well, apart from working, going to the gym, cleaning, washing, ironing and posting on here, I'm sleeping. It's about all I have time for!!
I realized this morning that NC (from Me) since Sunday morning. Haven't even thought to. I totally honestly have nothing more to say to him. He was here for a short bit Sunday afternoon, then he stopped in again Tuesday after doing chores. He tried to be funny and was nice. I really have the parts down to not ask a thing, seem busy, and not attached. Now if I can just get through the wondering how and where he is...
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
I used to have that problem. My mind was whirring away wondering what W was doing and where she was etc. Now I don't care. She can do whatever she pleases. There is no point in thinking about something that is out of your control.
Tell yourself to STOP when you find your thoughts being taken over, or sing a song (whilst playing your guitar of course :P )
Staying busy is a huge help in not thinking too much. I used to love weekends as a time to relax. Now I find them to be anxiety ridden. Have to keep busy, so when exh is bored and texting I don't play the game.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I totally agree about weekends. Having to keep busy can be so much work! I'm facing a Friday/Saturday completely alone, all 3 in-town friends are busy. Could go to the movies again, but frankly I'm running out of films to see and money to spend! I will have to go out of town somewhere since that's what I said I was doing, guess I'll look at it as a practice run for travelling on my own again.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
I just heard something today that I pray is just a rumor. More in my thread if you want to comment...I could use it. Sucked the life out of me and something I wasn't expecting.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
