I didn't post to you earlier because what I had to say about your H wasn't very nice. Just like Snodderly his selfish, lazy, ignorant attitude has me furious too. Especially since I know you are doing everything you can to keep a roof over your head and food on the table.
MWG, I would say that while your H's being selfish, he's probably also quite desperate.
the fact that he has been kind and even apologizes for hurting you is really great. I mean, my H has not apologized or thanked me for anything during this time.
And unlike others, H has never said he is not happy. If anything he has valiantly defended the princess....
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I would say it is way past time. A few ILY's and kisses whilst very nice and just enough to keep you sweet and hanging on in there. Really they are not enough even to be called the dreaded "baby steps". He is the one to be accountable not you. I take it you have sold stuff of yours as well and not just his books. Do not let him get away with this,like Snodderly says show him the bills etc. Heck it's not like your living the high life on the sale of his books!! I take it this outburst hasn't anything to do with any reply he may have had from his father? Don't hide away that makes you look guilty and ashamed. I know you hate confrontation and speaking up from yourself but again
M, Something else that's niggling my mind this evening...he's very close to hitting bottom and yet, he's still hoping against hope, that you'll save the day with providing money for the mortgage. There is no extra money from what you earn from ebay, there is no extra coming in with your unemployment check and you need a good car for transportation. He has four choices to make and none of them will appeal to him: 1) ask his father for a loan to help out in this time of need; 2) ask the ow for a loan (which we all know he won't); find a job, even if it's delivering pizzas or working at a fast food place; or come home and take care of home front while you use his car so that you can get a better paying job w/benefits. I do not see any way around his situation right now, but to hit bottom and find his way back.
He's awake enough to have that "talk" with him about finances. It's time....
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
He is here and is very, very quiet, sitting outside alone.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19