Had my coaching session w/Joann, caught her up on everything that has happened.
We agreed that due to the fact that we are dislocating from our home and THAT opens up opportunity for W to pursue separation that what I am doing now is a good course (NOt being available to her, not "acting" like a husband, giving her the feel for what a separation will be like, giving her oodles of space, ect, ect.).
She seems hellbent on doing it, so she needs to process all of her EA stuff now. I have busted the EA, I can keep tabs on whether or not it is continuing. For now, I can do my own thing and see if she can come back to the real world.
If she can't keep her committments than she isn't the person I want to be with anyway. Please know there is plenty of Grace and Love behind that statement, but I'd rather move on with a chance for a reconcile later. I'm not the type to hang out while it's going on.
So the track until firther notice is to mointor, detach, give space, and watch. Adjusting what I do based on how she responds. She should be in with our C right now as an IC. No doubt talking about all of her pain and feelings. No doubt pointing the finger at me for driving her to it becasue of all of my DA manuevers (which are true to a point).
Hopefully, as he has with me, hold her accountable for what is was, That it's not real, and she will begin the processing phase where she can realize how hurtful these things are.
Tonight ought to interesting. Well she's on her own on that. I will be elsewhere giving her space.
Jeff
***Getting up every day and learning to breathe in a new me. For me and my children***
Me: 43 W: 38 SD-15 S(s): 12,9,7 Separated-2/14/2009 My sitch
