W came to me in April and said she wanted to start having some fun with friends. Felt as if she could never do that. She went on two beach trips with the girls and went to a work related trip. Upon return from second beach trip, we had a huge fight about her going all the time.
Next day she told me she was moving to her dad's cabin until she could see I had changed. I was jealous and controlling and all that stuff according to her.
Ater a couple of days, I figured she had calmed down some and I went to the cabin to see her. We talked and one thing led to another and we wound up in bed. I figured it would be like other times and she would be home in a couple of days. She called me the next morning and sounded great, but I was very busy and could not talk. By the time I was able to call her back, she had changed her tune and was saying the night before was a mistake and she was not coming home.
She continued to live at the cabin and became closer to a work friend of hers that I had always knew was trouble. This woman is divorced twice and does not have the best reputation. I did practically everything in the book wrong. I begged and pleaded and demanded she stop hanging around with this woman if we were going to have a chance.
Things rocked on and things started looking a little better. Towards the end of June, she started talking about us and things that seemed long term. I actually began to think she would be coming home any day. She even mentioned marriage conseling and wanted to know would I try. Of course I said yes and she said she would set it up.
She had made plans with our youngest son to attend a 4th of July celebration that a friend of ours has every year. On the night of July 3rd she called me and said her plans had changed and she was going out of town to visit her college roommates and could I keep our son. I did and went to the cabin the next day to get him and she and I talked and kissed and she said she would call me when she got there.
I now know that she actually went and met another man that her friend had introduced her to. They spent the weekend together and upon her return she immediately asked for a divorce. I was in shock and just went along with things.
Our divorce was final on October 9th. She cried through the whole hearing and was not even able to answer the judge. When I dropped her off at our house, she hugged me and said she was sorry and could we be friends now.
Ever since the divorce, she has constantly come up with reasons to justify why we are not together. She sends long text messages about anything that confirms her belief in what she did.
At times she has been almost on the verge of saying what she has done is a mistake. We have even kissed on a couple of occasions and she has stated she could see us dating at some time. OM is still in the picture, but she seems to be trying to distance herself from him. She says she is really enjoying being able to do what she wants and being alone when she feels like it.
I know I need to detach and start working on me, and I am doing that. She is watching because she makes comments about changes she notices and also when I do something that reminds her of why we divorced. Lately, she seems to be detaching because she is not contacting me like she was.
She says her heart is hard and she has built a big wall that is hard to penetrate. I would love nothing more than to start new with this woman and be the husband she has always wanted. Things just seem so hopeless right now and I don't know what to do.
Would love to hear from still hopeful and Ready2change Thanks
