I will discuss this with Joann today during coaching. She doesn't seem to have a problem with calling bluffs.. Stepped up "silent intel". She seems to have settled down after our convo. She is DEFINATLEY in withdrwal from the EA drug. I will watch this and wait. I am getting closer to being able to start laying down boundaries. BUt there is a cetain amount of limbo right now to contend with.
I will update after coaching.
Jeff
VD,
If she is in hard withdrawal, give her plenty of love and support. You can validate without approving. I don't agree with things like "I'm sorry; you must be missing him terribly" (blccch!), but a "I hate to see you in pain," coupled with a nice hug, is great.
Withdrawal is NOT pretty, and even though I'd been warned it scared the hell out of me. It is why I'm such a NAZI about "no contact means no contact," and having a good no-contact/transparency plan in place. Because, emotionally and even physiologically, ANY new contact (even a negative one, believe it or not) will re-set the withdrawal clock back to "0:00" and she will have to start all over again.
Seeing the one you love go thru that, when she's TRYING to do the right thing here, was really painful to watch.
