Hmm...well. My first reaction is that he could be MUCH worse off. There's no flashbacks (that I know of), no substance abuse, no suicidal ideations.
Still, the parts about isolation, withdrawal & emotional numbness are dead on. The anger, irritability and depression come up often enough to be a problem.
It scares me a little though, because this started at a very young age and got cemented in Viet Nam. I guess what I'm trying to say is that some of this stuff went beyond "maladaptive coping" and became part of his personality.
I wonder if that's what he means about "surgical removal" of parts of his personality?
Anyway, I don't want to seem like I'm spending all of my time trying to figure out HIS problems. On the other hand, it is kind of validating because I've felt all of these things for a long time and was being told that I was wrong, oversentive, etc. Now I know the problem was very, very real.
Well, I have an appointment with my C today. I'm not looking forward to telling her about last Friday and the big blow up with the kids thinking they saw him with XOW.
I guess I am afraid that she will wonder if I am being naive and in denial, like S19 said at the time.
I also want to go over some of this stuff about PTSD with her.
Anyway, it's time to start a new thread soon. Wolfie will be moved back in tomorrow by the time I get home from work. That is going to feel weird. I have missed him so much--dispite his spending most all of his free time with me all of this time. I worry that I won't be enough--that I will say or do something wrong and he will leave again. I worry that all of the messy, noisy, annoying day-to-day things about living in a house with 3 teenagers will be too much for him after having his own place.
Yikes, I am worrying about things that I have NO CONTROL over! Guess what it really boils down to is that I am afraid.
Is there a room in the house that he can make "his"? ... den, study, hobby room, basement? ... for when he needs seclusion he has a place to go and everyone would know if he is in there he is looking to be left alone.
P.S. Even maybe the garage? For us "guys", decor is usually not even a thought.
Tal, What good news that Wolfie is moving back home...get ready for the 'weirdness'....it is strange even though it's like they've been living here with all the time they've been around us once they begin to recover...but under the same roof 24/7 is a whole new ball of wax.
I'll be keeping an eye on your progress to help me along with mine.
I am nervous as hell too. And tomorrow will be the first night that we'll officially be here together (I've been working nights since he 'came home' for good (?)Monday. T2
I keep reminding myself this: A coward dies a thousand deaths, but a brave man (or woman) dies but once. It helps, for some reason. Hope it helps you too.
