It sounds to me like you are obsessed with yourself, not with her.
How she can make your feelings be whatever it is you want them to be. Your concern about the name-calling incident seems to be more about YOUR feelings now, than HERS. Like you just want her to make you feel better about what you did. So you don't have to feel this way anymore.
How much do you perceive her to be the source of your emotions?
As far as feeling sorry for yourself goes, that's about the most unattractive mindset you can be in, if you want your W back. As Dr Phil would say.."how's that workin for ya.?"
