HI AJ How are things going? It's still a rollercoaster, some days for me, some days for him.. some days we ride together.
He rode it last night.. I got off & watched. That was good for me. He was upbeat this morning & didn't even mention the ride.. that was good for me too.
I rode it the other day.. he joined in. That was not good for me or for 'us'.
Some days I ride it & ask a friend to watch & help me off the ride when it's over
The joint MC session went "OK", the advice the counselor (his IC) gave us to try has totally backfired and he was back to the same old, same old behaviours that precipitated him being 'power up' in the room & me being 'power down'.
Difference is this time.. I called him on it in the moment... it took him 3 days & me withdrawing my 'sharing' to other people & telling him I was, before he 'got it'.
We go back to counseling on Thursday. I am still watching, but not waiting.. I"m moving on with things in my life that are good for me.
If he makes changes that add to my happiness & peace, then we can continue to build trust & see how the other pieces that need to go into an R 'fit'. That is a long ways off in my opinion.
But he is changing, accepting responsibilty for past actions & mistakes made in the moment, being more consistent & regular with his new skills, working on deeper understanding & interacting healthier with the 'new' me. That has been huge & I have told him that I would not be in MC if that had not happened.
Thanks for asking Peace Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
