Shiney..he's not just a VN vet, but a Persian Gulf vet too!
They were Wolfie's words, to kill off those parts of his personality. I think he also used the term "surgically remove" problem area of his make-up as well. Heck if I know if he's getting that from the therapist, but she does seem to be making a lot of progress with him all the way around.
I know what you mean about not being comfortable with the term--in fact that is what led to me feeling guilty.
As for the extra month, yes I agree. Despite the focus of the DB philosophy, I feel it's him that has, by far, done the most growing and changing. The difference is that he's willing to communicate now in a non-defensive way. Before that, most uncomfortable subjects were pretty much taboo. Now, I can ask pretty much what I want to and he'll answer me to the best of his ability. He also isn't so worried all the time about "hurting me" with honesty. There's nothing he can tell me that I haven't FELT and KNOWN for years, but now we can talk about things. THAT'S the difference!
He told the boys that 6 months ago, he thought he was fine and that everyone else around him was wrong. Now he says that as hard as is it for him to admit that he's been a self-centered selfish sob, that he's come to the conclusion that he's one f**ked-up individual that needs to work on himself.
I just wish he could get humble without beating himself up! Yeah, he can be self-centered, but like I told his sister, he can also be very kind, sensitive, and sweet.
I agree with you though about having the cards stacked against him. Maybe someday, he'll be a happier man and instead of feeling guilty, I can know that--because of me--he did the work he had to do to get healthier.
