Yesterday was way too much drama, and I can only describe it as horrible & wonderful.
On my way home from work, S19 and his gf call and say they think they have just seen H driving with OW with him. They tried to follow, but lost the other car. They described OW in detail and the description was pretty close.
We decided to drive up to the town where OW lives and see if H was parked at her house. He wasn't. We watched for sometime,then the kids left. After awhile, I saw OW come out of the house then go back in so I left.
On the way home, I finally got ahold of H on the phone. I told him about my dream and what the kids thought they had seen. He said that he'd been on the phone with his own father for the last few hours. He wanted to come down and talk to the kids. I told him that they were VERY upset, and he shouldn't come down unless he was sure he could stay calm. I also told him I was worried that S19 would take a punch at him.
When I got home, S19 was yelling at me. He said he thought I was naive and gullible, and that I'd probably believe anything H said over my own kid's eyesight. He said he thought H was still cheating and would continue to do so and that I was a fool and was ruining my life. I tried to calm him down (the kid is rather excitable and prone to drama).
He came down and took S19 and gf outside, wanted them to look at his car because he thought they might remember something different. S19 was adamant, but his gf wasn't so sure. S24 and his gf showed up because his brother had called him and said we were having a big family problem.
We all sat down and talked and a real transformation happened. H opened up for the first time to the boys. The asked him a lot of questions and there were even some accusations, but H handled it well and they could see he was sincere. He called his father and asked him to tell S19 when they had been on the phone that day, and for how long (I'm sure gramps still is wondering what all THAT was about!).
In some ways, H and the boys really talked about problems that had been ongoing for many years between them. There was a lot of healing and compassion that went on between them and they were all three crying while the girls and I tried to support them. Even S19 dropped his cynical-don't-trust-nobody-tough-guy routine and talked about how much he loved H and how hurt he had been at H's betrayal. He talked about how much he had missed him and said we all needed H to come home. H said he was all packed up and asked if S19 would help him move everything so he could come home.
The boys talked about how they have seen H and I spending time together & knew we were going to counseling, but they also felt hurt and neglected because we've been very focused on each other and they felt that we needed to begin healing and rebuilding as a family. I told them that I agreed, but that H & I also realized that part of what got us into trouble was that we had been too child-centered over the years. We were parents together, but had neglected our own relationship and were having to reconnect all over again.
After awhile, the older son and his girlfriend went home and the younger girlfriend & I went to bed. S19 and H stayed up talking until late.
