Text my w yesterday about D17 lyng to me and would she please talk to her when she gets the chance. the conversation was very civil. I asked her how she was, and she replied, I am OK, Thanks. I text her if u ever wanna talk, she replied OK, thanks.
I will go stealth agian. No expectation of seeing her again until April at grandsons B'day. I have decided not to pursue her for car insurance money. It is a waste of time, it aggravates her cuz she doesn't have it and it frustrates me because neither do I . i will suck it up. If she offers me money for it, I will take it. No counting on it. She owes me two months plus right now.
Busy weekend with friends coming up, next week traveling all week on business. I will be distracted plenty. She hung around saying good-bye to her mother for a whle. I went into another room. MIL thinks she hung around waiting for me to come out. Didn't want to, hate watching her leave my house, our house, its sad, very sad..
When you can see yourself in things she does wrong, you have forgiven.
When you understand that her life is not what she wants and that she is truly lost, you have forgiven..
When you no longer blame yourself for the situation, you have forgiven..
When you looked for to time with friends, work and time alone without being ditracted by when she will come back, you have forgiven...
When you talk to her or see her, and you feel your heart opening, you have forgiven...
When you walk upright and proud, when you look in the mirror and smile at yourself, when you start to remember good things from the past with her, you have forgiven...
I thought I would post this to let you all know how I am doing. It has taken me 5.5 months to reach this point in my life. Women notice me, people smile at me, my kids want to be around me, and i know i can go in any direction I choose. I am on my walk, and very happy to be there. Church is no longer a place to pray for me, it is a state of mind, I pray everywhere and all the time. the rage is gone, I have no more fuel. told you it wouldn't last, but I got the two weeks I wanted. I miss her very much, She is hurting very much, and I am not sure she understands the damage she has done, is doing or the damage she is doing to herself. I no longer pray forher to come back to me, I pray for her to be safe, to evaluate her life, soberly, and make decisions about where she wants to go with a clear mind and heart. I want to believe it will lead her to me. But if it doesn't and she becomes happy, then good for her, I have done all that I could to save my marriage. I no longer pray that I will be around when and if she realizes she should be with me, it is a lesson in futility. God, is watching me,He believes in me, and has made me believe in myself. 25year, DD, Amy, T'Gone, FH you guys have really helped me. All of your words are now coming together after all of these months. She has "found me", I am not "hiding" anymore. Now that she knows I am standing in front of her, God will watch her and guide her. And soon she will come out of "hiding" and "find" herself.
Sounds like you're on that right path again and your trip away should definately help keep you mind at ease about it.
I had a lot of those texts. So I know where you're at with those.
Just keep an open yet cautious mind to further actions and don't get pulled in to quickly. It's very easy to jump and say or do too much when you finally start the hear the things you've longed for.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I hope that my W has gotten a real slap in the face of reality with the current situation involving the kids after her 'outburst', and that it woke her up. I highly doubt and fully expect OM to be at her side for the hearing next week, so after the hearing is all said and done, I'm stopping in the clerk's office next door and finally doing the unwanted but innevitable task, filing for a no-fault.
Your W seems to show some signs of not being so far out as mine, so there is always hope. Hang in there.
dday
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Yes, Amy an dFH warned me about the same thing. I have put it behind me, and I am conituing down my path, the pace is quicker. I am more hoping it was things or something she wanted to hear, not me.
I am praying for you, you never about whats gonna happen til it happens. Sick as a dog today, not sure I'll get thru the day. Thanks for looking in on me. I hope you are right about my W, I hope some opinions about her recently are also correct. Its in His hands, I can only do what I have been doing.
Getting over some kind of stomach virus today. Had me in bed for almost24 houtrs, very dehydrated. W called looking for D17 this morning. I answered and talked to her. she asked why I was home and I told her. she said, you never get sick, I told her I was making up for it now. She said she hopes I feel better, take care. It was nice of her to say. Over a week ago I would not have answered the phone. Now, forgiveness is a big part of me, so I don't want to hide from her. she will see the forgiveness in me and hopefully it will do someting. If not, I feel good about it anyway. Not much else to say, older D called to say she thinks w is getting bored with OM and not really happy. She didn't honestly know why, but she does. Woman's intuition. anyway, 25year, DDday, Tgone and everyone else I hope your sitchs are going good, drop me a line.
Just received her W2's in the mail this morning. I have put it with her regular mail for her to pick up. I will be doing my taxes Sunday afternoon, seperately, head of household. I hope she wasn't expecting half of "our" total return. Aint't happening, Give her half of the money from taxes out of my paycheck, out of my house expenses I paid for. I should reward her for leaving me and our family. I don't think so. I hope she wasn't really expecting that.
Just a word of caution on the taxes I received from a friend of mine who is a CPA: If she filed first by any means and claimed any of the dependents as hers, the IRS will bounce your return and investigate.
I have no choice but to file and claim mine tomorrow so that I amy move out of the house ASAP. So I'm going to run the gammet in my situation, I have the upper hand of the court order awarding me primary caretaker, so even if my W did file already, and I'm highly confident she did, they will bounce her return and fine her up the wazzoo. I feel bad for doing it, but hey, she wanted to be single and I've been telling her how bad my checks will be effected once I have to start claiming single on my w-4 forms. NOT looking forward to that.
Anyway, 2 solid weeks of "sole custody" and all is well, just hanging with my boys and skating through life day by day. Not much else to update.
really starting to sound as if maybe, just maybe your W is starting to come around a bit, tread carefully my friend, remember it takees but a half second for 'evil W' to pop up out of no-where if she hasn't been fully shuned out by 'good w'.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Thanks, glad to hear things are cooling down for ya. My lawyer already told me the same thing, file before she does so she cannot take any exceptions. As she doesn't live at hme and d17 does not live with her at all, then she cannot claim. even though we are not legally seperated, my d17 lives with me making me the custodial parent. She canot prove any support to my D17. He doubts she'll play that game. But if she does, the IRS will go after her not me. I had a strange dream in a dream the other night. We were sitting in a TV room, me, W, D17 and I think my grandsons. anyway one of the grandsons was playig with the blinds and i told hinm to stop. He wouldn;t so I got up and told him no. she told me to shut up. I told her not tosay that, she said whatever just shut up. I said great, nice family night, and I walked out of the room and slammed the door behind me. I said well I'll go out and let her think about that for a while. I woke up in my room and got up and didn't find anyone ion the house. I woke up for real and realized I was alone. Strange.
checking in. travelling on business this week. weekend was good, saw some frineds Friday night, other friends for dinner saturday night and sunday stayed in and wathced the super bowl. D21 is all moved back home and so far everything is great. Bad dream last night involving W. won't go ointo it. Her best friend called me at 6:15 AM today saying she had a really bad dream about me getting cut. Told me to be careful. Weird....
Anyway, feeling lazy, almost burnt out. Detaching is really hard on me emotionally and draining. Maintain forgiveness, still walking. I am trying to talk louder so I can hear what I am saying on this walk, its frustrating. We walk, I talk, He smiles, nods and walks with me.
Talked with D17 tonite, she was home. sounded much better to me and talkative, a little more than ususal, but told me all about her day. God how I loved hearing that. I am invited to a ton of things over the next 6-7 weeks. Hate going alone. Keeping thouoghts of her returning to a minimal, all most non existent. Trip reminds me of how I used to call her cause she always worried when I traveled, We would talk and talk. then I basically stopped traveling with this job, and well there's that time line again....
6 months to the day since she dropped the bomb, yesyerday. there's a great memory!
dday read your thread keep up the PMA!!
trying to do the same every day. too much time talking about my sitch this weekend I am afraid. Was told by complete strangers, women, that i am very handsome, and my wife must be crazy. Overheard me talking to my friend who W just visited. My friend told me she is running from responsibilities, no kidding!!!
The harder she runs, the more she drinks, and i am tired of hearing about it. Told kids do not tell me about your mother, I really don't need to hear it. Hold your opinions to yourselves.
Anyway, needed to post, melancholy and lonely on th eroad. all I got is you guys and gals...
trying to do the same every day. too much time talking about my sitch this weekend I am afraid. Was told by complete strangers, women, that i am very handsome, and my wife must be crazy. Overheard me talking to my friend who W just visited. My friend told me she is running from responsibilities, no kidding!!!
The harder she runs, the more she drinks, and i am tired of hearing about it. Told kids do not tell me about your mother, I really don't need to hear it. Hold your opinions to yourselves.
Cant tell you how many times I've heard that about W being crazy and during the last talk we had right after New Years when W said she was too commited to OM I conveyed that message to her that "not to toot my own horn, but let's face it, I'm not that bad looking, have a good head on my shoulder and a future, If he is what you want, then he is what you can have" meaning, no future, dead beat will walk out on her soon enough and leave her with nothing. So be it, careful what you ask for, you may just get it you know?
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
