Jeff, I agree w/Jack...stay busy and do not dwell on her conversation. She doesn't know which end is up and she's bouncing all of the place. I just love the way they always ask if we are dating and here they are out there doing it themselves.
Stay busy, take everything she says w/a grain of salt and continue living your life.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Stay strong Jeff. Keep yourself busy. When you dwell on the negatives, it can be daunting and feelings of hopelessness creep in.
Don't allow that to happen. They are only words from your w and remember what she says today might not neccesarily be what she feels 6 months from now.
Be scarce my friend!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Sorry I haven't dropped by. I took a little road trip. You should keep your distance, and always remember they change their mind at the drop of a hat. Try not to get down over this. Blah blah blah. Remember? Stay strong brother.
Hey Guys thanks for all the encouragement! I have been busy keeping busy between work and play. Sorry I have been AWOL. The past few days have been good. I have worked some over time and took this as an opportunity to create some mystery.I didn't tell her that I was working I just said that I was out with a friend, which I was because I was working with my friend. I did the same the next night and had a brief conversation with her. She said I think you have a girlfriend, I just replied that you already know my answer to that and changed the subject.The next day my MIL me that my Wife thinks I have a girlfriend. I am sure that deep down she knows that Idont but wants me to in order to justify what she has done.
Anyway I am not going to give her the power of reassuring her that I am just waiting around for her. I don't owe her an explanation of where I am.
She now texts me and calls but I don't pick up often. Today I was at the gym and she texted me were are you?
I figure keep her guessing and show her that I have a life. Last night I left just as she got home and did't tell her where I was going and didn't give her the chance to ask. I had a cooking class that I signed up for. Before the class I was at starbucks enjoying an americano and surfing the web. My Wife friend walked in and we chatted. I guess when my wife was talking to her she mentioned that she saw me and I am guessing my wife wanted to know who I was with because my wife texted me today saying that she was talking to her friend who saw me by myself. She said I hope you don't feel that you can't be in the house if I am here.
When I talked to her in person she asked again and I just said" why would I feel that way I was enjoying a nice coffee and surfing the web in between running around."
This morning I left her one of her favorite magazines because she cleaned the upstairs and my bathroom. I want to reward positive things I left a note telling her that I appreciated it.
She left a note say thanks and that it was very sweet. I need to walk that fine line of not being too detached. But I won't reward bad behavior.
Tonight she was tired and I could tell she was in her thinking mode. Since I have been keeping busy she has been staying home more ,interesting.
My DB coach gave me a good line " there is no point in running when nobody is chasing you" things that make you go hmmmmmmm.
Anyway that was a mouthful I shall see what happens my wife told me that she has made an appointment with our Doctor to get a referral for someone to talk to. I hope she finds someone good.
that's all for now
Jeff
ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
Jeff, It's the mlc thinking mode about the girl friend. Keep in mind, she's had a boy friend, thus in her mind, you should have one as well, if you aren't telling her what you are doing. It's crazy, but that's the way they think...it's called projection.
Keep up the good work! The magaine reward was beautiful!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks I am trying to walk the fine line and not be totally detached. I don't want her to feel that I have given up. It's tough but like we all keep saying it's a marathon. Lately though when I leave her alone she has been staying home more and you call tell her brain is working overtime.
Today she made me some meatloaf and baked some brownies which she gave me to go to work. I just commented that the meat loaf was delicious. She was quiet for the most part but wished me a good night at work. It's hard at this point to be patient but she hasn't been talking about moving out this week (which is good) Damn I when I see her I just want to give her a hug and love her. I just want to tell her that she is beautiful and that I want to wake up each day thinking how I can meet her needs.
All in good time. I will just keep plugging away and see what happens. The past couple of nights I have been home popping in and out to go to the gym etc. Tomorow I am going to a buddies before work but I won't tell her where I am going.
Jeff
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ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
