Tonight my children went home with their mother. After three years, this still breaks my heart. I am still trying to come to grips with the fact that XW and I couldn't resolve our differences and personal issues to build a better marriage and make a whole home for our children. The good news is that when I called XW to say goodnight to my children, she actually told them about it and my D8 called me back.
As I've said, I've begun the process of disengaging from my XW behaviorally and I am noticing changes in the amount of 'pull' XW has over me emotionally. With these changes, my confusion is setting in along with my sadness. I understand that if I am ever to reconcile with my XW, that I am on the right path, but it really does suck, as I have stripped away my illusion of a comfort zone by pulling back.
I know that the effort that I used to spend pining away for my XW must now be re-directed to productive efforts to improve myself. I am trusting that all of the emotional turmoil will settle down as I focus on me and my children. I sure hope so. Letting go is sure an emotional process.
Letting Go Tom; JUST DO IT! previously hopeful_husband
my A: Fall 05 W found out: Feb 06; separated immediately W pursued D, final 7/11/07
