Hi Tal, It sure is amazing what insight the past can bring into current behaviors!!!! sounds like you got some good information from your SIL to help with understanding your H. I agree with your therapist that he is probably deep down terrified of you leaving him. I think most H's that go down this path, if they find their way back to W's will always wonder if we will leave them--the ultimate payback if we were in for that! It is inspiring to see such progress with you and H--wishing you only the best. For now, I'm going to stop trying. Period. I just can't do anything anymore. And perhaps that is detachment in the ultimate sense of the word. I just don't care anymore and can't live the roller coaster ride anymore. It's kind of funny, but with this perspective--I am not having any problems with not calling, not emailing, etc. and I think because truly I'm doing it for me--not doing it to try to "win" H back. I love him, always will--but it is time for him to show some desire towards me and the M--I cannot carry it alone any longer! Perhaps a strong dose of reality will give him some food for thought-make it "real" and if not, at least I know that I have done all I could and have fought the good fight! OOps looks like I hi-jacked your thread again! Sawwwry!!!
