Thanks Tyson. This whole thread has been like a bad remake of "It's a Wonderful Life". Frank has done so much for others and nothing for himself. Even to the extent that by failing to do for himself he has hurt his family.
A big lesson.
And I don't have control over anyone or anything. Only myself. Like you said, I just need to shut up and deal with my own crap. That's it.
Tonight we went 'as a family' to our favorite restaurant for D18's birthday. We picked up W at her house and I drove. W sat in the back seat with D18 and D18's boyfriend. Lot's of joking and stuff going on during the 1/2 hour drive.
At dinner we were all pleasant. W had no trouble talking to me and making eye contact, even making a joke or two. The girls had fun and of course the food was good.
She offered to pay for half of the bill but I told her this was my treat for D18.
On the way home I kind of realized that I am no fun to be around. I haven't been for a long time. Something to change.
Dropped W off at her house and she even said goodbye to me.
I agree with you Tyson, I'm addicted to the pain. I'm addicted to being a victim. I'm addicted to being rejected by W. I'm addicted to alcohol.
Like I've said before, 10 years ago I wasn't like this. I was on top of the game.
I'll put the time and energy into myself with no expectations as to what will happen with my family, except that I will love and be loved by my daughters.
Not drinking tonight even though I feel like crap.
